


A Hulk and a Hawkfrog

by TheOncomingStorm



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 06:26:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOncomingStorm/pseuds/TheOncomingStorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What started out as a derpy ask fic over on Tumblr for a friend, just grew.<br/>Mainly Bruce/Clint, but Loki/Tony is present in the background in their roles.</p><p>It's Princess Brucella's eighteenth birthday, and King Tony and Queen Loki are throwing their daughter the biggest party. But not everything will go to plan thanks to a certain purple frog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hulk and a Hawkfrog

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Breadcrumbz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breadcrumbz/gifts).



> Two notes I guess before we get started;  
> Genders - I don't have a clue. I wrote it like a Fairy Tale, so whoever was a Princess was written as a female... but honestly, despite this all the characters look exactly the same as they do in the films. So even if they're written as female, just imagine the males in whatever their wearing. So Brucella, looks exactly like Bruce would only in a dress for example.  
> Hawk'frog' - Hawkfrog is a frog based on a real life frog. The species if 'The Purple Frog', which looks like this; http://cdn2.arkive.org/media/BB/BBAA41F7-2541-499D-973F-7CD8CFACE6EE/Presentation.Large/Male-purple-frog-calling.jpg  
> If you want some more images to help with your imagination just Google The Purple Frog and several results will appear of that beautiful creature.

Once upon a time, in a far away kingdom, there reigned King Tony and Queen Loki. Now, the King and Queen had a beautiful baby who was named Princess Brucella. But, due to the jealous wizard Thanos, was cursed with a second form of green, which appeared with her anger. But, that's a long story to explain, so let's just skip to her eighteenth birthday which involved two frogs, a horse and a Fairy Godmother.

King Tony and Queen Loki were, at the best of times, show offs. So, it came as no surprise that Princess Brucella was being thrown the biggest party possible and all the Princes would be coming as guests since every Princess needs his Prince (just ask the story of when Queen Loki was a Princess looking for her Prince if you find the time). It didn't matter too much that the young Princess was actually shy and while appreciated the gesture, wished for a smaller party and no Princes . 

As such, she spent the morning hiding away in the stables with her noble steed, Steve; grooming him, and talk to her long time friend. Steve was a white stallion, with a star marking on his buttock, and was the most gentle stallion to be reared in the land. With his special bridal of blue and red, and matching saddle, he was a fine creature indeed. "Oh Steve," the Princess said, "I wish my parents weren't so showy."

The horse nodded in agreement, or maybe it was coincidence, but Brucella took it as agreement and continued. "I like the silent evenings we have together, and would rather have something similar instead of every Prince invited so I could find my future husband."  
"Not every Prince has being invited."

Blinking, the Princess looked around the stable, and except for a fat purple frog on the floor, no one else was in the room. "Who said that?"  
"I did," said the frog, standing on its back legs, pointed noise to the sky, a small bow clutched in one webbed foot. 

"Frogs, logically, don't talk. No animal or amphibian does."  
The frog seemed to take insult to this, as it gave a loud croak which swelled both eyes and stomach (if either was possible given its size already) then frowned up at her. "That was just rude. Next thing you'll be telling me, is I can't be a prince."

Brucella went to reply, but another croak and raised webbed foot silenced her. "For someone who I've heard enjoys science among fancy things, you do seem a little dumb. I am Prince Barton, otherwise known as Hawkeye for my skill with a bow over sword. And, on my way here, I was cursed in this form. And so now I am nothing more than a Hawkfrog."

The frog gave a sniff at finishing it's rather short tale, so Brucella took her handkerchief and knelt down beside the amphibian and offered a corner. He took it, and blew his pointed nose carefully, then stood taller. "I would request your help in breaking my curse, but also stopping that villain who did this to me."

"What evil person would do this to you?"  
If frogs could raise eyebrows, it would surely look how Hawkfrog did currently. Clenching it's free foot, it tapped it against her forehead a few times. "My dear Princess, I would have thought you of all people would know this answer. Although, it was not he alone who did this... but rather my rival, the slimy git. Literally."

"Shortly after the invitations for your party were sent, I was strolling around the ponds of Asgard, when this villain pointed a hammer at me, and croaked out he demanded I dropped my dreams and allow him to go in my place to your party. I obviously declined, and please do not ask what he meant by dreams," a slight blush spread across the frogs face at this, "and so after kicking him aside, set about travelling. However, I was stopped on the way, and the evil wizard Thanos cursed me to this form, and changed the rivals to mine."

Thinking, Brucella blinked several times, and looked at Steve who had seated himself beside her. "Your rival was a frog?"  
Hawkfrog looked away, once again insulted. "No. He was just some special armoured frog living in the pond, which I sometimes used for target practice, till I was turned into this blubbery form. Throg is only my rival now for doing this to me. "

"Sounds... weird."  
Steve nodded in agreement, or maybe it was again by chance, and Hawkfrog looked up at them both before sighing. "Will you help me... please?," the please added as an afterthought. "I don't ask for help often, but only you can help me break this curse. I could perhaps explain more on the way to the party instead of sitting on this barn floor?"

Brucella could only agree, and hope her parents had given up being themselves, and so patting Steve on his head, picked the frog up, and walked back towards the castle, where after hiding Hawkfrog in her sleeve, was greeted by Pirate Nanny with his stony face. Once back in her room, and Pirate Nanny had gone to collect the things needed for the evening that slowly arrived, she removed Hawkfrog and placed him on the table of her science lab and waited for him to tell the tale. 

"Many years ago, when your mother Queen was still a Princess, there was a warrior Prince called Thor. They were siblings, although Thor was favoured by Odin and Frigga. I do not know exactly what happened, no one does, but one day before Princess Loki turned eighteen, Thor disappeared. After being married to Prince Tony, and leaving to rule this kingdom, a frog appeared in the pond of Asgard, wearing amour. The Prince has never being found, and over time, the frog was named Thorg in memory of the lost Prince."

"I, however, know exactly what happened. Well, now I do. Throg really is Thor, changed into a frog form. He wanted to come in my place to clearly steal you as revenge against whatever happened between him and Loki. So he's on his way in his human form. I think one too many flies has turned him a little crazy in the years he's being a frog."

Running a hand through her short brown hair, Brucella thought this over. A frog called Throg, whose really Thor, related to her mother. If she wasn't so use to the strange habits of her parents, she would have thrown the frog out the window in a fit of green rage. "So, how do we stop Throg, or rather Thor?"

"... I haven't thought that far ahead. But I have my bow, what could go wrong?"  
It was Brucella's time to raise an eyebrow, before she picked the frog up and hid him under the bed as Pirate Nanny returned. "You're parents are at it. Again. Can't agree on red or green to compliment the gold decorations. Your Godmother is having a wonderful time changing the colours for them."

"Well... that's one thing they never fully agreed on. Red or green," Brucella replied with a smile. Secretly, she wished they'd change it to purple since it was her favourite colour... and if not, red as a last choice. The colour green was defiantly not her favourite colour - for obvious reasons. "I'm sure once Natasha grows bored, they'll agree swiftly on a colour."

Pirate nanny Fury just stared with his single eye, before holding the dress out for her. "Just get dressed, I shall be back in a moment once I make sure Natasha doesn't hex the King and Queen."  
Once he left, Brucella knelt to the floor and then pointed a finger at the hidden frog, "stay there till I get you out."

Hawkfrog tried to stay under the bed after Brucella disappeared to change from his beady eyes, he truly did. But the silence of the room, led to him hopping from under the bed the first instance of the door being opened. And, standing in the shadow, Hawkfrog looked up to Pirate Nanny and his glaring look. In the awkward silence between them, Hawkfrog gave a loud croak. "Why, is there a fat purple mole on the floor."

"Now, see here Patchy. I'm not a mole, I'm a frog. And I'm not even a frog," the offended amphibian started, standing on two feet, and drawing his bow to Pirate Nanny's head, arrow loaded and primed.  
"Mole, frog, or annoying stain on the floor, I don't care. What are you doing there?" Pirate Nanny said, crossing his arms. Letting the arrow fly, Hawkfrog stuck his long tongue out at Nanny, before hopping towards Brucella who had returned dressed only seconds ago. 

"I do believe I outstayed my welcome around Patchy. I request you about turn, and get us the hell out of here."  
Brucella only took one look at the angry expression on Pirate Nanny Fury's face, tiny arrow and all, before picking up the frog and walking out the room swiftly, the angry nanny yelling after them, "I won't have any mother fucking frogs, in this motherfucking castle!"

Running down the halls, and into a spare room from the rage of Fury, the Princess dropped the frog on the floor. "You, are a git. I thought I told you to stay hidden?" Brucella started, trying not to smile through her anger.  
"You did, but then I thought you had returned. How was I to know it was angry bald guy from this height."

The frog smiled up at her, making Brucella mouth twitch into a smile briefly, before she sighed and sat down beside him. "The guests will be arriving shortly, so I hope you can spot Thor when he arrives. Not that I know why I'm going along with a frog. "  
"Because I can talk, have spectacular aim, and in my own body, the most beautiful prince you'll lay eyes on."

"Right now, you're a talking purple frog, that looks more like a fat mole, who carries a small bow. Excuse me if I don't believe the final part of your previous sentence," she replied, poking his belly. "Just know, if there is no Thor or Thorg, I'm sure someone in this family would have a use for a frog."  
Smile faltering, Hawkfrog looked away before nodding. "I get it. But I'll have you know, I'm not lying. And I shall prove it to you as soon as we get to this party."

"First, we have to find somewhere to hide you. As small as you are, I think people would notice me carrying a frog."  
Beady eyes looked at the Princess, before the frog hopped forward and onto her knee.  
"If you can't carry me, hide me in your tiaria. It'll be a nest fitting for a Hawkfrog."

"Nest..." Brucella started, a little insulted at her hair being compared to a nest (she had only brushed it minutes ago, and no matter how short, it wasn't that nest like thank-you), but the manner-less frog was already jumping from her knee, up her arm, and then finally climbing onto her head using the hair just insulted. "Well, giddy up then. We have a villainous frog to find."


End file.
